How to Build Identity-Based Habits That Actually Stick

"I'm going to start on Monday."

We say this because we think building a healthier life is about willpower and making better choices. But here's the catch: we humans hate making choices. According to USC psychologist Wendy Wood in her book Good Habits, Bad Habits, roughly 43% of our daily actions are driven by habit while our focus is elsewhere. We rely on these psychological shortcuts to get through our everyday life. In order to truly change, we need to stop fighting our natural instincts with unsustainable and short-lived goals and instead build new habits that align with who we want to be, turning our best choices into our easiest choices.

Who Do You Want to Be?

To begin this entire process, you need to identify what the best version of yourself looks like. What are you doing? What does your day to day look like? Most people just start off with a list of what they want to achieve, but it's important to attach meaning and a plan of action.

When we decide who we want to be, we change the language we use about ourselves. Instead of wanting to be an active person, you are an active person. You're not trying to eat healthier, you are eating healthier.

"Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity."
— Atomic Habits, James Clear

"I Can't" vs. "I Don't"

Related to the identity language above, the words "I can't" and "I don't" change how we subconsciously frame our decisions. Researchers at the University of Houston found that those who framed a refusal as "I don't" instead of "I can't" were more successful sticking to their goals, because "can't" reads like a rule imposed on you, while "don't" reads like a decision you've already made about who you are. When we feel constrained, it creates a scarcity moment, and can make the thing we think we can't have seem more desirable.

Identity and language are what shift our focus from the result alone to living the process.

Get Specific

After figuring out what the best version of yourself might be, get specific. For example, if you wanted to be an active person, what does an active person actually do? They could go on walks every day, hit a step goal, or weightlift a set number of days per week. If you currently live a sedentary lifestyle, you don't need to start there, you build up to it.

That's the snowball method: start with a goal just above where you already are, and let it grow. If you average 5,000 steps a day, your first step goal could be to aim for 7,000. Once that's routine, push it further. You can use this method the same way for goals that are difficult to start. For some, even showing up to the gym is a struggle. To make this decision easier, set your clothes out, pack your bag, and have it ready by the door.

Ready to Start?

While these are simple, useful tools, they only work if you actually apply them. If you need further support and accountability, we invite you to book a free consultation to talk about your goals and how we can help you get there.